by Tyrah Majors
"This kind of stuff happens all the time in the industry." That was one damning through-line in the outrage sparked by Surviving R. Kelly, the six-part Lifetime docu-series about the R&B star's alleged sex crimes.
Here's another, revealed in more than 50 interviews that framed the series: most of Kelly's victims either accepted an invitation to go backstage at one of his concerts or to meet him at his music studio-with the hopes that doing so would propel them on their own path to fame.
This revelation got me wondering about the connection between the two, and the role of the woman (for the purposes of this exploration I'm focusing on women) on the receiving end. Most invitations backstage or to a star's studio don't wind up in assault or even the suggestion of unsavory behavior.
So where does this leave the women who seek out this kind of access, who work hard for it, and when it happens, embrace the opportunity to advance their station, promoting the connection they've made? Call them Instagram models, clout-chasers or groupies. By whatever name, the power of social media and the promise-however slim-of becoming the next Blac Chyna or Amber Rose compels these women to keep on keeping on.
In talking with these women, what I found is that many of them are walking a fine line between forging a close connection with a star-a connection that may or may not involve a sexual relationship-and leveraging that contact to establish their own identity and status.
And why shouldn't they?
Yet, even with the Kelly revelations, and the #MeToo conversation in general, which has enabled women to speak more freely about instances where they've been subjected to unwanted advances, these women struggle to be taken seriously. They're disparaged and put down even as they are trying to pull themselves up.
In "Why So Much Hate for the Instagram Model," in MEL Magazine, author Madeleine Holden points out Kanye West's famous lyric-"She Instagram famous but she can't keep a job"-,and Drake's remark about Instagram models falsifying their locations-"She at home but her Instagram location the beach".
"So why so much hate for the Instagram model?" Holden asks. "Jokes about Instagram models land because audiences already believe that the work they do is trivial, easy and unworthy of remuneration - influencer marketing is, it's probably worth noting, a rare industry in which women outearn men - and that they are, in essence, glorified whores."
Holden compares Instagram models to sex workers, in the sense that both leverage their sex appeal to make a living, however IG models create editorial content and original photography to engage in savvy audience growth and marketing.
In other words, this is serious work and should be taken as seriously as any "real" job.
In December of 2018, my best friend Merima and I attended "Rolling Loud Los Angeles," a music festival featuring an all-star line up of hip-hop's biggest acts. She's from Boston, a city that she thinks is less than exciting. She lives for the glitz, glamour, and fame of Los Angeles, so as you could imagine, she was going to make the festival worth her while.
It was the last big act of Friday night; we were having one of the greatest nights of our young lives. With olive green baggy Fashion Nova pants and a crop top to match, Merima danced beside me to the rapper's performance. She sang along to every vulgar lyric, her long black hair swaying in the night. Mid-performance, she pulled out her phone and posted an Instagram Story of the rapper, tagging his name.
That moment was all it took.
"TYRAH, TYRAH!!!!!"
What the heck is this girl waking me up about now?
"You won't believe who just messaged me on Instagram."
'Beautiful. Wusup,' was all the direct message read. The most simple note from one of the world's most legendary rappers. We were both shook the next morning, as I imagine anyone would be. Out of all the thousands of people in the festival crowd, and all the women who must've tagged him in their story from that night, he chose to send her a DM. As you would imagine, she responded.
Later that weekend, he messaged her again while we were out at a club, inviting her over to his music studio.
Merima was all for it, but not without asking if she could bring her friends along with her. For my part, with everything that had just come out about R. Kelly, I was not going to let her go alone-anything could happen! The next thing I know is that Merima, myself, and two of our other friends were pulling up in a Lyft to this man's studio.
A security guard greeted us at the door and confiscated our phones. I was thinking to myself 'this can't be good,' so I shared my location with my family, just in case. We walked in and there he was: that same legendary rapper who we've watched on TV our whole lives, expecting us to be his company for the night.
Surprisingly, it wasn't what I imagined. We just SAT there, chatting amongst each other and doing nothing the whole time, while he recorded two songs that we most likely will hear on the radio in a couple months.
It was completely pointless in my opinion-to have women just sitting on a leather couch with the audio engineers while the star is on the other side of the glass, working. What were we there for? Why did he ask Merima to come over? Maybe things would have been different had she come alone, but on this night, we served as nothing but distant eye candy while he got his work done.
Groupie - a person, especially a young woman, who regularly follows a pop music group or other celebrity in the hope of meeting or getting to know them.
"Let's be clear: groupies are necessary," said Milan Zoe, a hip-hop publicist and entrepreneur.
Necessary how? To have fans express their sexual desires increases the artist's self-confidence, Zoe said.
Hip-hop and "hot groupie girls" go hand in hand. "They add to the persona, narrative, allure, ambiance and the look," Zoe said. "It's one thing to have an artist Perform on stage and have a bunch of girls screaming, it it even adds to their self-confidence when you know 10 of those girls figure out getting backstage and of those 10 girls three end up figuring out how to get to the tour bus or on the tour bus."
Artists are always going to have fans: the ones that know every song lyric and scream for them at every show. Groupies go further.
"The women are attracted to the talent and the intelligence and you can see this in all sorts of subcultures," said Tasha Howe, chair of the psychology department chair at Humboldt State University and an ex-groupie. She grew up in 80s Hollywood, following bands around. Eventually she married one of the band members.
"The men are very talented they're at the top of the game," Howe said. "So when they look at you or notice you, you feel special because they can have anyone they want."
To have fans express their sexual desires increases the artist's self-confidence, Zoe said.
When rock music started gaining popularity in the 1960s and 70s, it attracted a mob of young groupies who followed bands on tour. It was a process-women had to think of strategic ways to finesse themselves to get in with the artists. The Beatles and The Rolling Stones were absolutely NOT sliding into anyone's Instagram DM's, because it didn't exist.
"It wasn't easy because if it were easy, everyone would've been doing it," said Howe, describing her experience as a rock and roll groupie.
"We ended up knowing a lot of the doormen at clubs and we knew a lot of people," Howe said. "We often would become friends with wives or girlfriends of other band members, dress scantily, and use our charm to get what we wanted."
Nowadays, women who are groupies may be content with that kind of connection, or they may be looking for something more: a path to their own celebrity. Either way, the beginning stages look pretty much the same.
That brought to mind for me what happened with Merima and the rapper who messaged her.
"I'm not on his level, you know," Merima told me. "I'm not a celebrity so it's like, how did he even find me? Why is he hitting me up out of every girl on the 'gram? There's millions of accounts out there, it's crazy he even found me. I don't know."
The "rapper lifestyle" can be viewed by outsiders as one that is simply beyond reach: huge mansions, private jets, cars, constant partying and lots of bling-bling. Women who started off mostly as models in music videos and eventually made their way into the rapper's entourage have embedded themselves in this luxury lifestyle-and they have the Instagram pics to prove it.
With the rise of information and social media technology, women angling to be in the presence of celebrities can skip the 'getting to know the bouncers or befriending anyone's wife' stage. Some of the traditional tactics may stay the same, but with a simple click of a button, hooking up with your favorite celebrity is easier than ever.
Instagram is the primary gateway into achieving that goal.
"Social [media] made everything accessible at your fingertips," said Derek aka Sleep Deez, a multi-platinum record producer and mastermind behind 'Meet Me Halfway,' a chart topper from the Black Eyed Peas.
"You can order food, you can order a driver, or you can order a groupie," he said. "Anybody is just a direct message away. Instagram is like Postmates for sex these days."
Music video director Yellow Ngyuen said some women are eager to trade sex for access.
"There's some girls that will play 'networking' with class and basically low-ball themselves. Basically 'F' their way to the top," he Nguyen said. "They'll lead their way into it, where it's sexual favors or other things, where they're willing to lower their standards just to get to where they are, or they'll assume that that's what they have to do to get get to where they are."
One of the most infamous groupies in hip-hop is Karrine Steffans, also known as "Superhead." Her New York Times bestselling book, Confessions of a Video Vixen, was a tell-all -on the long list of- in which she listed the hip-hop icons she's slept with: Usher, P Diddy, Vin Diesel, Shaquille O'Neal, and more.
Psychologist Tasha Howe said that being a groupie can provide self-esteem that women lacked in early relationships with their families. Sleeping with or hanging around musicians can fill in that sense of validation and identity, she said.
"If they have a family that's not that close or they have trauma, or adverse childhood experiences, they're often looking for that group to find a sense of family or belonging," she said. "A lot of the time they're attracted to these fringe style cultures which could be heavy metal or it could be hiphop."
In an interview with the Huffington Post, Steffans said she suffered abuse throughout her childhood, and that it has always been a 'language' she's known.
"So, when it comes to my interpersonal relationships with men, of course, a lifetime of abuse vastly affected everything I did," Steffans told HuffPo. "I always came from a place of abuse, actually wanting, welcoming, and accepting it because that was my language. It never seemed strange to me."
There's a certain look that's common among the typical Instagram model: an online following of 10K or more, a certain curvature to her body, a Kylie Jenner-inspired makeup look, and a Fashion Nova or Pretty Little Thing outfit. These are the women on a quest for a famous boyfriend or a big brand deal.
Blac Chyna and Amber Rose are the primary examples of Instagram models who have transformed themselves into million-dollar business women. Chyna, aka Angela White, went from former stripper and video vixen to full-fledged media mogul and high-profile celebrity.
She originally gained recognition from dating rapper Tyga, who she met on the set of his famous "Rack City" video shoot in 2011. Years later, Chyna announced that she was engaged to and expecting with Rob Kardashian. During this time, Chyna launched a boutique, makeup line, beauty salon, and even a reality show as a result of her new acclaimed clout and household name status. That journey helped elevate her status, as others who are similarly situated seek to follow her path.
But if women perpetuate stereotypical portrayals of other women, they might come under fire. Last year, Cardi B spoke out on Instagram after her music video for "Twerk" was criticized for featuring scantily clad dancers.
"A lot of woman out here always talking about equality and feminism but ya want to have a standard on what ya should stand for," Cardi wrote. "You should stand and respect all type of woman. Lawyer, doctor, video vixen, stripper, stand up for all. You are no better than anybody else."
The idea of becoming famous by way of a celebrity has always been around, it's just evolved. Women don't necessarily have to sleep with or sneak backstage to find their own avenues of greatness.
Howe says looking back on her teenage groupie days, her main goal was to date and marry a rockstar, so that she could feel prestigious. "Unfortunately girls are socialized a lot of times to find pride through relationships, I find that a little sad now that i look back on my youth," she said.
"I think that's changing now women are really emphasizing their own dreams, careers and accomplishments and not as much doing it through men," said Howe. "But it still is quite a trend where I know young girls are still looking for that powerful prestigious man to give them some sort of credibility instead of forging your own way forward."