About the Story

I started to think about the meaning of aging and death since  my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. It struck me that my loved ones will eventually leave me behind. How do I want to spend our time together, especially  toward the end? How can I return the favor of life and many years of care my parents gave me? As an only child, this is the first time in my 24 years that I have thought about what the One Child Policy means to me, my parents, and the 176 million families with only one child.

 My project examines aging, death and family values. It starts with China and the problems posed by the One Child Policy, but goes beyond one country.  The issue touches people everywhere.

I traveled to China, visiting  Yiyuan in ShanDong province, and produced a documentary on an only child caring for his father who's been in bed for 10 months. The name Yiyuan means the headwaters of the Yi River, which is the mother river of ShanDong,  a province known as the hometown of Confucius, who taught the virtues of filial piety culture. I found it mysterious and fascinating that my project about children caring for seniors would take me to the headstream of filial piety.

To report this story, I also visited the Chinese community in Los Angeles, to see whether people who have left China still hold the tradition of children caring for seniors at home. I asked the same hard questions. “What are you going to do when you cannot live by yourself? ” “Will your children take you?”“Why don't you want to go to a nursing home?”  “Are your children good to you?” “Are you good to your parents?”

I didn't expect the variety of answers or to encounter such honesty. Seniors are not happy with the idea of institutional care for all kind of reasons. Some want to see their children more often. Some fear their needs will be ignored. Some believe that nursing homes are senior prisons that kill the fun of life. Some never want to rely on others. Still, most reached the same conclusion, however painful it sounded: They will go to a nursing home, because they don't want to become a burden to their children.

These sad, touching answers really made me think about what we all want in our final years. Under tough circumstances, what is  best for each family?

This is an issue most of us will face. My own values are expressed well by Ding Zhiqin, an 82-year-old woman who came to the U.S. to be reunited with her children. She told me, “Life is short, family should stick together."