Bisexual: Being the minority of minority

When biphobia comes from your own community

by Ran Tao
PC: Twitter User: @taesmulletstan

Every year for the past five years, the last week in September has been deemed Bisexual+ Awareness Week, established to accelerate acceptance of people who identify as "bi+", including bisexual pansexual, fluid, no label and queer. But those in the community say acceptance is still a long way off-even among those within the larger LGBTQ community.

It isn't uncommon for a bisexual person to be confronted with a question such as, "This is a gay space, why are you here?" said Eden Anai Luna, the manager of Los Angeles LGBT Center.

"When a bisexual man appears in a gay bar, that is a natural comment he will receive from other gay men," said Luna, who also conducts diversity trainings. "When it comes to the bias coming from this community, biphobia is still the most common and rooted one."

Generally, biphobia is the prejudice that occurs when bisexual people are ignored, unaccepted, or rejected by society, and this prejudice does not get alleviated within the LGBTQ community, even though they may share similar marginalized experiences from the majority group.

Bisexual people comprise more than half of the entire LGBT community, according to Gary J. Gates, an expert on the demography of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) population and retired UCLA law school scholar.

Bisexual youth account for 38% of LGBT youth, the largest single group in that population, according to research by Laura Kann, of the Center for Disease Control's Division of Adolescent and School Health.

A typical assumption is that a person's bisexual identity is a phase, before coming to a "real" lesbian or gay identity, said John Bacolores, a student at the University of Southern California who identifies as queer. "When we talk about bisexual group, it is natural to say they will eventually become gay, even though I hate when people say something like this," he said. Mikayla Bean,also a student at USC, identifies as lesbian, but said she was identified as bisexual for a while, "A lot of lesbian women see being bisexual as a stage even though it is not a stage. It is way more common among lesbian to think like choosing bisexuality is much easier before completely coming out."

People who identify as bisexual confirm that the general reception from LGBTQ community is not that friendly.

"I feel like bisexual people are treated as they are devious in for their sexuality."-Sobel

"In my experiences, I feel like bisexual people are treated as they are devious in for their sexuality," Ariel Sobel said, identifying herself as bisexual. And the problems bisexual people face within the community are often more subtle than that with straight people. "When I go out with a bunch of gay friends, they will behave like pro bisexual and never say biphobia things. But they did not say anything when one of the gay men was making fun of bisexual people on saying bisexuality isn't a sexuality and all these really nasty stuff behind my back," said Sobel.

A twitter user named Popo, who came out as bisexual this year, said she encountered the misunderstandings within the communities in social media discussions,"Some believe that bisexuals do not truly exist, as it seems illogical to be able to like two genders, or that bisexuals are not part of LGBTQ when some of them are together with the opposite gender" Popo said.

Besides that, when a bisexual person tries to get involved in the same gender relationship, "Oftentimes the preconceived impression is that I know you are bisexual and you will cheat on me and engage in heterosexual relationship ultimately,"said Luna.

Other factors contribute to the disconnect between bisexual women and lesbians. After two failed relationships with women who identified as bisexual, Hitus Chou, who identifies as lesbian, said she will be more careful and less willing to date bisexual women,"I just feel that they will eventually choose men," Chou said.

It is well recognized in medical and psychological circles that bisexuality is a very real and genuine sexuality," according to a report issued by The Bisexual Resource Center.

A continued lack of acceptance of people who identify as bisexual has made it difficult for them to come together as a group and advocate for themselves, experts say.

"I will never be able to attain true acceptance for my sexuality and I will always have to be reminded of my differences." -Popo

The misinformed thoughts on bisexuality bring about the dilemma that they are not receiving enough support and attention from their own community, and they can not acquire the sense of belonging from the straight majority society.

According to Invisible Majority, a report authored by The Movement Advancement Project, within the LGBT community, only 33% of bisexual people have attended a Pride event, compared to 72% of gay men and 61% of lesbians.

When bisexual people struggle to find community and acceptance, they report high levels of mental distress.

Physical and Mental Health Incomes of Bisexual People
Infogram

When stereotypes happen in the minority group

If you only can write one sentence about the stereotypes within your community, what do you want to say?

Kelby Harrison, the director of USC LGBT Resource Center, said frequently there is biphobia inside the community, "So we create different and exclusive spaces for bisexual and transgender students where they can connect and talk about their own experiences in a way that they immediately understand each other, without worrying about educating the outside."

However, they can not stay in this safe place forever and they have to step out of it to deal with the real word.

Bisexual and non-monosexual women are among the groups most vulnerable to intimate partner violence (IPV), according to Bethany M. Coston, a professor in the Department of Gender, Sexuality and Women's Studies at Virginia Commonwealth University.

While just over one in three heterosexual women will experience IPV in her lifetime, 61% of bisexual women and 78% of non-monosexual women will. And the results indicate that the proportion of women experiencing sexual IPV varies by sexual identity.

As for bisexual, the real word is not only physically threatening, but also emotionally discriminatory.

When there is difference and lacking acknowledgement among a society, it is easy to generate preconceived impression. That is the problem that happens between heterosexual and LGBTQ people, now it also happens among the subgroups within the community.

Andrew Montejo, the manager of Youth Services in Los Angels LGBT Center, said"A lot of gay or lesbian teenagers that we see have never met a transgender person in their lives, so they would say a lot of transphobic things, like using mispronouns on purpose." Similarly, when gay or lesbian do not share same experiences, it is hard for them to realize what bisexual people have gone through.

Also, there's a real lack of information about bisexuality in our libraries and the media. "With the movement of marriage equality, legislation and legalization, the community finds opportunities to tell a representative story of gay couples or cisgender couples, while bisexual and transgender do not have access to representation themselves," said Luna. When there is a popular TV show about gay men, like Queer Eye, it is hard to find TV programs that feature bisexual group.

No matter for homosexual or heterosexual groups, bisexuality does not fit into their standard categories, it is often denied or ignored. When it is recognized, bisexuality is often viewed as being "part heterosexual and part homosexual,'' rather than being a unique identity. This is anther factor that fuels the oppression, isolation, and invisibility for bisexual people.

Bisexuality threatens the accepted way of looking at the world by calling into question the validity of rigid sexual categories, and encourages acknowledgment of the existence of a diverse range of sexuality.

For bisexual people, it is hard to say they are not a part of the LGBTQ community when they are the B, "I don't think there is any way I can be taught I'm not a part, bu I hope there could be more room made for representation of bisexual people within the community," said Sobel.

©2018 by Ran Tao