Warning: Some of the following content contains graphic information.
In the middle of this whole reckoning around Hollywood, you could not get a black woman to go on record. There is not wanting to bring down a black man. There is knowing that even if you’re not trying to bring down a black man, a large segment of the population will say We don’t believe her because of all these things that we normalize. I think it happens across all cultures, but I think in our community we’ve sort of doubled down on it. It’s immediately a question of what your level of complicity was as opposed to why this person violated you. And people, rightfully, don’t want to go through that. —Tarana Burke (New York Times)
How do I live my life?
When Laquisha Anthony discovered she was pregnant at 19, two months after she said she was raped, she vowed never to speak of that day again.
Anthony was an aspiring track and field runner in her first year of college when she said one of her peers raped her.
All I could think was, How do I go to school? Anthony said. How do I live my life?
Laquisha Anthony says black families don't talk about sexual assault.
Anthony wasn’t prepared to take care of a baby and needed guidance. She didn’t feel comfortable reporting her assault to authorities, so she confided in her immediate family. However, her mother’s silence, her father’s aggressive reaction, and her grandmother’s skepticism, You sure you didn’t just get pregnant, made Anthony feel alone and even more ashamed.
After aborting the fetus, she kept silent for 12 years and suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.
I cried daily, she said. I would wake up and start crying, right when I opened my eyes. And every day going to and from work, I wanted to literally drive off the bridge. I suffered from anxiety, and would see myself in different pieces of my experience.
Every day going to and from work, I wanted to literally drive off the bridge.
Eventually she reached a breaking point and sought professional help to begin her healing. After attending regular counseling sessions, her therapist recommended she share her testimony at a Women Organized Against Rape (WOAR)event. It was that testimony that started her gradual steps toward healing, empowerment, and leadership for other black women survivors in need of support.
Sexual violence against black women is not a new topic of discussion. Whether the conversation is about the injustices black women face from such trauma, or the lack of black women who are openly discussing it, the severity of sexual violence against black women is now part of the national consciousness.The New York Times published an article in March that addresses The Challenge Faced by Black Women Accusing Black Men,The Conversation published an article that addresses the cultural betrayal trauma theory that is associated with sexual violence in the black community. However, I have yet to read an article that addresses how black women heal from sexual trauma. I set out to find resources and support groups specifically for black women in Los Angeles County; however, Department of Public Social Services has one support group that is currently on hiatus. Survivor support systems fall short of providing culturally specific resources that cater to the needs of black women survivors.
I was sexually assaulted twice in college two years ago. Much like other survivors, I kept silent, or rather felt silenced, about my experience. My perpetrator was a black man, and at the time, the #BlackLivesMatter movement was at its peak, so I didn’t feel comfortable reporting my assault because I didn’t want to threaten the life of another black man. I just wanted to heal.
Ajah Yee shares her college experience. If the video does not play click here
Much like Anthony, I sought professional help from multiple therapists to begin my healing, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to find culturally specific survivor support groups where I could hear and discuss in person the challenges black women survivors face through their healing journey.
I never found that support group, and I struggled to heal. At first, I thought that black women survivors probably don’t need to heal or have already done so. After my research, interviews and discussions with multiple survivors, I found that we do want and need to heal. However, black women survivors have had to take it upon themselves to create online support systems due to the lack of support groups for their specific needs.
Black women need culturally specific support groups where they can be in a space with other people who look like them, think like them, who face the same challenges, and ultimately who can relate with them. Without these groups, black women will suffer alone, and we need to start saying #BlackWomenHealToo.
Sexual Violence Among 'Sistas'
All communities can be affected by sexual violence. Many experiences, despite race, sex, or gender, share very similar coping mechanisms, PTSD symptoms and healing processes. However, black women survivors face unique challenges when coping with sexual trauma.
For decades, dating back to slavery, black girls and women have been hypersexualized. This stigma has led to black women remaining silent. University of Southern California Professor of Gender Studies Ange-Marie Alfaro says the silence is a generational issue that continues to affect the mental and spiritual health of black women.
USC Professor Ange-Marie Alfaro
Black women were originally constructed as not fully female, she said. They were not seen as people who were breakable or as people who could be sexually assaulted. Black women were not seen as people who could be raped either legally or illegally because they were considered property. They were constructed in the media or in the economy as workers. They were considered people who could take it.
The not fully female stigma has been passed down generations, which creates an environment in the black sisterhood community that doesn’t allow black women to protect their mental or spiritual health. As a result, few black women survivors come forward about their assault.
According to the End Rape on Campus (EROC) organization, black girls and women are more likely to be assaulted than white women. Although 80 percent of rapes are reported by white women, black women experience a higher rate of sexual violence, but are more prone to staying silent and not reporting the crime.
Alfaro says that although this generation of black women are more likely to break the silence because of heavy use of social media, the strong black woman trope still encourages black girls to remain silent.
We have this culture of silence, Alfaro said. I think the 21st Century impact is that the culture of silence still pervades the sister community. Even if there’s not an explicit, You must suffer in silence, there is still a grappling with this strong black woman stereotype that says, What’s wrong with me if I can't suffer in silence? Why can't I do what my grandmothers did, what my aunts did, what my mom did before me? I should be able to live up to that the same way.
Another reason I stayed silent was because I never saw any women like me coming forward about sexual violence until I watched the Surviving R. Kelly docuseries in January 2019.
I wanted people to know that everyday people experience these things and overcome them.
The docuseries showed multiple black women accusing the R&B artist of performing sexual acts without consent in exchange for help in the entertainment industry. The docuseries brought attention to the struggles black women face when coping with sexual violence and trauma. Since it was released, survivors of the iconic singer, and numerous other black women survivors, have shared their stories in the media including the challenges they faced as a black woman coping and healing. Many of those challenges included the fear of people’s disbelief due to a long history of systemic racism, fear of appearing weak if they do not resemble a stereotypical strong black woman, and fear of further attacking the black male community (that is to say if the perpetrator were a black male).
Anthony was inspired to come forward about her rape because she too didn’t see black female role models speaking up about sexual violence in the black sisterhood community.
I didn’t see anybody that looked like me saying, Hey, I’ve been through this, or not publicly anyway, Anthony said. Maybe I’ve seen famous people like Oprah, but that was so far removed from me. I wanted people to know that everyday people experience these things, and everyday people can overcome them.
Anthony is now the founder and CEO of the V.O.I.C.E, Victory Over Inconceivable Cowardly Experiences—A Survivors Voice, which is an online sexual abuse survivors’ network based in Philadelphia for primarily women of color to connect survivors with similar experiences.
A young black woman, who will be referred to as S because she is not comfortable with her name becoming known, said she was raped twice as a teenager. The first assault took place at Blair Middle School in the Pasadena Unified School District, while the second took place at someone’s home in LA County. She didn’t have the support or the resources to get support from other black women survivors.
On the first occasion, S said she was gang raped by her peers. S reported her rape to the authorities after her friend encouraged her to go to Planned Parenthood for a screening. For a year after she reported, S sought justice for her rape.
I went to the police and told them that it was a nonconsensual situation, but the police ended up blaming the whole situation on me,S said. It was 4 in the afternoon and they kept me there until 2 in the morning. They asked me repeated questions, and brought different officers in and detectives asked the same questions over and over again. They would just say We’ve already talked to people…we know you’re lying.
She was interrogated by the Pasadena Police Department, she had to take multiple rape kits, and she said she was questioned in a manner that suggested she held some responsibility. The authorities didn’t believe her. After several interrogations and rape kits, S felt compelled to say her rape was consensual to avoid further interrogations—no charges were made against the suspects.
A year after her investigation, S received a call from the Pasadena Police Department to testify against three of her suspects who were being held on other rape charges.
Dr. Tseday Aberra
S experienced what many black girls and women go through when reporting sexual assault. According to the Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault authorities tend to doubt black women survivors more than other races when reporting an assault.
Stereotypes regarding African American women’s sexuality, including terms like black jezebel,promiscuous, and exotic, perpetuate the notion that African American women are willing participants in their own victimization, according to the Women of Color Network, which is based in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. However, these myths only serve to demean, obstruct appropriate legal remedies, and minimize the seriousness of sexual violence perpetrated against African American women.
These black women stereotypes cause survivors not to report. Dr. Tseday Aberra, a clinical psychologist, says the lack of reporting only feeds the stereotype and doesn’t allow for healing. If there is no reporting of sexual assault of black women, then their communities will believe it does not exist in their neighborhoods, and therefore, the strong black woman stereotype will continue to be perpetuated as a result, she said. As long as there is silence, people will continue to believe that black women are strong and independent enough not to be succumbed to sexual attacks.
Aberra has practiced clinical psychology for 17 years in Chino, about 40 miles from downtown Los Angeles. She has treated survivors of many races, but specifically notes that black women’s silence is misinterpreting the strong black woman image.
Activist Tarana Burke wanted to shed light on the black woman silence epidemic with the phrase Me Too.
Survivors’ Stories
These black women survivors are sharing their stories and breaking their silence. The survivors wished to remain anonymous to keep their privacy from family.
I’ve been told so many bad stories, whispers from black women in Hollywood or in entertainment, that they just don’t feel comfortable coming forward because they haven’t seen themselves in this narrative. But the flip side is, we cannot wait for the narrative to catch up with us. We can’t wait for white folks to decide that our trauma is worth centering on when we know that it’s happening. We know that there are people, whether they’re in entertainment or not, who are ravaging our community. We have to be proactive, unfortunately without the benefit of massive exposure. That’s our reality, but it always has been. —Tarana Burke (New York Times)
What is so important to know about the #MeToo movement is the reason it was created and the purpose it serves.
In 2006, Burke coined the phrase Me Too to help girls and women of sexual violence, particularly black girls and young women of color from low wealth communities. Burkes goal was to support survivors with breaking their silence, feeling heard and helping them on their pathway to healing. She began with the focus on black girls and women survivors; however, she then developed a culturally informed curriculum to discuss sexual violence within the black community and in society at large.
The phrase resurfaced 11 years later in 2017 by actress Ashley Judd who accused film producer Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment. Judd used the MeToo hashtag, which started trending on social media and encouraged other women to come forward about Weinstein’s sexual misconduct. Soon after, #MeToo became a global anti-sexual violence movement that has prompted members of all communities to break their silence, share their sexual trauma and begin their healing process.
Burke, however, feels that the media mainly reports on white women survivors who have used #MeToo.
I think the media doesn’t really care about the stories of black women and the stories of women of color.
This is just a theory, Burke said to The New York Times. I think the media doesn’t really care about the stories of black women and the stories of women of color. A lot of folks have slid under the radar.
Actress Gabrielle Union, comedian Tiffany Haddish, Olympic gymnast Simone Biles are three famous black women among many who have come forward publicly about their sexual assault. These celebrities received less media attention than their white counterparts such as the survivors of Harvey Weinstein.
The lack of black women representation in the #MeToo movement prompted the beginning of the #WeToo movement—a movement that focuses on black women working class survivors.
According to an analysis of complaints filed from 2012 to 2016 with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, black women working in the private sector reported sexual harassment charges at nearly three times the rate of white women.
Similarly, a study by the workplace culture and compensation monitoring site found that black workers had the highest rate of being sexually harassed, with 24 percent saying they were harassed on the job.
Laquisha Anthony said that the #MeToo movement has allowed for more black girls and women to come forward about sexual assault.
We are in a more progressive timeframe where there’s less stigma around sexual violence because of the #MeToo movement and the many people talking about it, Anthony said. And also, that we have access to unite people via social media helps people not feel alone. We’ve seen it with the #MeToo movement and how powerful someone just writing #MeToo on social media rendered other people writing it and made other people feel like they were not alone in their process.
While the #MeToo movement was founded to serve the girls and women of the black community and is used via social media as a way to connect survivors, black women are still in need of local in-person support that can tend to the specific challenge’s black women survivors face. Too often black women remain silent because they don’t have other black women that they can relate to. Black women need other black women support to help them heal.
#BlackWomenHealToo-Here's How
Anthony suffered alone for 12 years after her rape because she didn’t feel that she could talk about her trauma.
Specifically, in black families, we don’t talk about certain topics, said Anthony. We do experience certain forms of trauma, but we move on and try our best to survive with those experiences rather then I’m actually having conversations. We need to change the, What happens in my family, stays in my family. We hear a lot of that in our community when we’re not even talking about traumatic experiences at all.
As a result, Anthony was inspired to be a spiritual mentor for black girls and women who need support to heal, which is a fundamental component of healing.
Support is key, Jennifer Sterling, psychotherapist and founder of the online Black Girl Healing Project, said. In situations where we have experienced some trauma, it seems easier to isolate ourselves, and think nobody understands and nobody around is going to want to talk.
Sterling said that finding the people or the places that may be able to have those conversations help create the space for black women to express themselves. However, Los Angeles County Department of Public Social Services resource list does not include programs or support groups for black women sexual violence survivors.
We provide survivors with a counselor who finds the best support group for each survivor, a department representative services said. There are no culturally specific groups for black women.
The Jenesse Center in Crenshaw offers domestic violence support classes every Monday, Thursday and Friday. Although classes are not culturally specific to black women, a center representative said the classes have majority black and Latino women.
Peace Over Violence, a sexual violence prevention center in Los Angeles, will offer a Still I Rise support group in 2020 for black women survivors of sexual violence.
Sterling was inspired to create the Black Girl Healing Project from her own experience being a black woman coping with depression and coming from a long line of black women who have been diagnosed with mental illness.
There was this constant need to be strong no matter what happened, Sterling said. I wanted to create a space where black women could let their guard down and also have the resources to really understand what being a strong black woman was like, and why black women feel like they have to be strong all the time. There is so much stigma around being vulnerable, mental health and mental illness, and I wanted to break down some of the stigma that’s associated with it.
Sterling says that having access to the internet and social media help survivors find pockets of communities with people who share similar experiences and other resources for healing.
You can find people in helping professions that may be able to point you in the right direction if they can’t help you themselves, Sterling said. There’s a lack of therapists of color and a lack of culturally competent therapists and mental health professionals, but you can seek out the people who you can find. Make a connection because the isolation is what ultimately wears on us and creates this narrative that nobody cares. If you can find the strength, or the capacity, or the resolve to reach out instead of pull back, that’s really the first step and where a lot of the healing starts to happen.
O, another survivor who wished to remain anonymous because she is not ready to come forward publicly, knows how difficult it can be to find the appropriate resources and help for black women.
I’m just striving to support others,O said. To create this community like the origins of the #MeToo movement with Tarana Burke. It’s about how we are creating spaces for healing and connecting with each other, especially as black women.
While there are universal steps for all survivors that are crucial to reach self-recovery and spiritual healing, black women face other obstacles that must be addressed.
Dr. Tseday Aberra, a clinical psychologist, outlines what steps health professionals should take when treating all survivors and when treating black women survivors.
Healing for All Survivors versus Black Women Survivors
Aberra, the clinical psychologist, outlines what steps health professionals should take when treating all survivors and when treating black women survivors.
ALL SURVIVORS:
Step 1: Show the survivor in need of therapy that they are not alone.
—This can be achieved by showing them there are other patients who have suffered the same trauma, and these people have gone through treatment and succeeded.
Step 2: Encourage the survivor to attend group sessions.
—Let the patient attend group sessions and observe, and maybe talk to others with similar problems and find out how they dealt with it.
Step 3: Establish the right rapport.
—Establishing a level of comfort with the therapist is conducive to treatment—that is the ultimate goal.
BLACK WOMEN SURVIVORS:
Step 1: Show the survivor she is not to blame.
—Make sure the woman in therapy understands she is not, in any way, to blame for what happened to her.
Step 2: Be sensitive to the Strong Black Woman image.
—The therapist must be sensitive to the Strong Black Woman image the patient is burdened with, and the fact that she feels she needs to protect her community. She must be persuaded that her community is better served when black perpetrators are removed from it. Instead of working against the myth of the Strong Black Woman image by trying to convince the patient that it’s not her burden to protect the black perpetrator, thereby protecting her community, the therapist should rather use that sentiment and convince the patient that protecting her community should include eliminating all the bad elements from within, the black perpetrator not excluded.
Step 3: Encourage the survivor to talk.
— Real strength is not remaining silent with the hopes of hiding that one has fallen victim to a sexual perpetrator, but by talking about the traumatic event, accepting that victimhood is temporary and refusing to remain one forever. Real strength is knowing when to ask for help, and by convincing black women victims to come forward and expose their attackers, not only will they succeed in overcoming the trauma of the assault, but they will protect their communities better.
Aberra says that talking about sexual trauma with people who have culturally specific views is an effective way to heal because they are more sensitive and understanding of the situation. Other methods, such as breath work, help with self-recovery and spiritual healing.
Jasmine Marie, founder of the Black Girls Breathing group, coaches black women around the nation via in-person sessions and online sessions on breath work for inner healing.
It was my way to be able to offer this powerful technique and healing modality of breath work to my community in a way that’s accessible, not just economically, but geographically as well, Marie said.
Marie explains what breath work means and the importance of practicing breath work for spiritual healing.
There’s trauma that lives in our bodies. It doesn’t live in our mind, Marie said. I think the traditional talk therapy is very important to identify the trauma that may be housed within you, but when we talk about moving past cycles, patterns and energetic memories of traumatic situations that have happened to us, that have housed themselves in our bodies, it’s important to use the reflection and those words to identify where that trauma lives, and then use a tool like breath work.
Marie finds breathwork powerful because it’s not like Reiki (a healing technique in which the therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch), but instead a self-healing technique.
ownership of your body and relationship to your body
You’re the one doing the breathing. It’s this ownership of your body and relationship to your body that you’re cultivating with this work. In breath work sessions, we’re doing mental reflection, but we’re also tapping into our bodies and where the trauma lives in the body and giving it an exit point by focusing on shifting that energy out of the body with the breath and different techniques with the breath.
Marie chose to focus primarily on black women’s breath work because of the lack of support for black women who are trying to practice healing and spiritual well-being.
I think there may be a barrier to why you see a lot of black women who don’t take self-care at an emotional, mental and spiritual need as a priority because there’s this thought that everyone else has to be okay before I take time for myself, she said.
Although there is a lack of survivor support groups specifically for black women, there are still ways to achieve healing while remaining a strong black woman.
The only way to do both is to convince black women who are seeking mental health counseling, that it is not a sign of weakness but one of strength and character to ask for help when it is needed, and therefore consistent with the strong black woman image they want to uphold, Aberra said. The best way to do both is to help them redefine the definition of strength as they know now.
Aberra said. The best way to do both is to help them redefine the definition of strength as they know now.
Like all survivors, black women are strong too. Like all survivors, black women need support too. And like all survivors, #BlackWomenHealToo.
Resources for Black Women Survivors
These are some resources black women survivors can use for healing and support.
Black Women For Wellness, Los Angeles: (323)290-5955 or click here
Jenesse Center, Crenshaw: (323)823-2229 or click here
Peace Over Violence, Downtown Los Angeles: (626)584-6191 or click here
Psychology Today: This resource allows you to search therapists, support groups, psychiatrists, and treatment centers by location click here
Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN): 1(800)656-HOPE or www.RAINN.org
This Hotline will connect you to the nearest Rape Crisis Center
Sexual Assault Crisis Agency, Long Beach:
24-Hour Hotline
(562)989-5900
Office (for appointments): (562)989-0309
or click here
YWCA Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Compton:
(310)764-1403
Office (for appointments): (310)763-9995 or click here
CSP, Sexual Assault Victim Services
Orange County: 24-Hour Hotline
(714)957-2737 or click here
National Sexual Violence Resource Center:www.nsvrc.org
